Tuesday, April 21, 2009
What a difference a day makes. This is the reason you should write things down daily, so you can follow your moods and see that it doesn't stay "that" way forever. It was another beautiful Hum. Co. day. Probably got up to about sixty five? Beautiful. I only worked at school, no online grading, a huge relief. I will have a few more weekends in May but then I'm off pretty much all summer! I left school soon enough that I had time to putter around the house, cook dinner and can now relax. Of course, I should be grading papers, but I most likely won't get those done until this weekend so why stress?? My working all the time hasn't quite been fair to my students either because I can't get everything corrected the way I like to. I love summer. It's so amazing here, the sun doesn't go down until eight or nine and even though it's never hot like it is down south, it is amazing. I am also not feeling sick anymore and I think I might even ride the bus tomorrow! That always makes me feel better, even when it's a nasty day so if it's nice again, imagine how much fun I'll have! Okay well I'm gonna go hang with my husband and the cats then probably read Wicked, which is amazing so far. It's quite sexual and political, which surprised me, especially since the person that loaned it to me is a twelve yr old, Christian girl. Who woulda thunk it? Thanks for reading Bethy! :)
Monday, April 20, 2009
I am sick of it. Sick of doing everything for everyone else and never enjoying a freaking thing! Whose fault is it? Mine of course. I dunno. I haven't had a weekend off in forever, finally get one and I 'm sick. So I sleep all weekend, feel better and now all the shit that I should have gotten done on the weekend needs to get done. I have a million papers to grade. I still don't feel all that great and it's beautiful outside and i don't care. My reaction is to just crawl under a rock. That's always been my solution I guess. Nothing gets done that way though and it's just worse when you finally get out from under the rock. But it's not like I don't work hard. I do. Too hard. Too much. I don't know how to ask for help. I don't like to assert my needs. I am a mess. I'm working on it, but today it feels like it just doesn't matter. A never ending pile of things to do, and I take on more. It also seems like everyone around me doesn't have that much to do. Not because they are lazy but because they say no, or don't take on more or make room for their lives. AAAAHHHH. I have to work now...